I'm gonna have a badass scar
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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