He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
