he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
