people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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