fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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