the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
