party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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