i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
