my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
