happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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