She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize