Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
