I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
