I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
