well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
