that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
