Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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