uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
