He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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