And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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