I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
