Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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