dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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