She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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