I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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