i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
handjob tips. give me some.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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