can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
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His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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