I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize