So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
