Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
