I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
