wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I wish there were birth control emojis
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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