if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
