so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
