My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Sober January is a disaster.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
