That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
