How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
