this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
