just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
