I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
