Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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