i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
