Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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