did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
