You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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