you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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