I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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