I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
