do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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