I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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