Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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