Your dad touched me again.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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