A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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