Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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