You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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