She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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