So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
