We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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